Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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