It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
