ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
