Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
