Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
