Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
