Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
