I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Who died my cat blue again?
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