Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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