is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
