it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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