Having a random hookup so left but love u
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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