i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
