So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize