i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize