Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
