do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
