she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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