We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
