I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
