nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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