I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
