Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
