please come you make the beer taste better
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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