if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
