i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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