This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
