shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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