You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
