my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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