A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize