I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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