Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize