i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
