He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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