She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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