and you said cock pushups were impossible
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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