Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
