I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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