just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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