I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
