atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
