So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
