I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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