Non-Jews are for practice
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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