Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
