he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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