i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
