The maid of honor just puked.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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