i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
