i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
