brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
