Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
