have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
