I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
