just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
