If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
