why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
