sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
