sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize