I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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