this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Randomize
