Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
