Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
